Together

Around this time last year I officially came down with the worst illness of my adult life. The weird thing is it was right after I received my first ever flu shot. At the time I thought I was invincible, but apparently the flu shot protects against 85% of flu viruses and of course because I’m an overachiever I managed to beat the odds. The doctor told me that it was a pretty wicked version of the flu and that I would be laid up for about five days. He also said that I should be isolated from Kristin and Jonah for the duration of my illness. So they left and went to stay in Minerva with Kristin’s parents, while I laid on the couch shaking and sweating completely alone for five days. I have never in my entire life been alone for that long, but I have to say it's very similar to what I’ve imagined hell to be like. For the first few days I did nothing but watch TV, because that was all I was capable of doing. FX had a bunch of superhero movies on and so that’s what I watched for probably ten hours straight; Spider man 2, Batman Begins, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, etc. That night I slept shivering beneath a mound of blankets and enduring one delirious dream after another. I dreamt of myself in a cape fighting a never ending host of bad guys, all in an attempt to avenge some family member’s death. I remember feeling exhausted in my sleep, I didn’t want to fight anymore, I just wanted sleep, but the movie in my head wouldn’t stop and I fought villains all night long. Once my fever broke I had my sanity back, at least for a little while. You see, now that I was in my right mind, the loneliness settled in and slowly drove me nuts. It wasn’t too long before I started talking to myself, asking questions out loud and then answering them, and then commenting to myself about my answers. I would yell at the TV a lot, making wise cracks at stupid commercials, or bad storylines. It only took about a day for me to start really getting on my nerves; I was so annoyed with myself and my constant sarcasm. I don’t know how Kristin puts up with me! I spent a good part of Sunday talking in a British accent for my own amusement. And by the time Tuesday rolled around and I finally saw Kristin and Jonah again, I was barely human. My beard had grown long, and my cheeks were sunken in, as if I had been on a desert island for a few years instead of on my couch for five days.

I was remembering this the other day, and I got to thinking about just how horrible it is to be completely alone. I know this from experience, but even more so I know this is true because God says so. In the very beginning, when he first created man, he looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for man to be alone,” and so he made Eve, and brought the two together, to help one another, to share their lives together. It is not good for us to be alone! We are hard wired in such away that by ourselves we begin to breakdown, digress, and go insane. We were made for community, for genuine relationships, made to share our lives with others, to help one another along. But so many of us live disconnected lives, we live isolated from genuine healthy relationships, closed off by a variety issues like; closet sin, insecurities, workaholism and depression. It is not good for us to be alone, and yet our culture teaches us that you have to be self sufficient, you have to believe in yourself, trust in yourself, and answer to no one. It is not good for us to be alone and yet even in the church, where of all places there should be genuine community, there is still a great sense of loneliness within many. We are supposed to be family; brothers and sisters, but tragically for a lot of us the church is not a safe place where we feel like we can be transparent. After all, “What if people knew that I still struggle with sin?” "What would people think of me if they knew about my hateful thoughts, my bizarre dreams, and my deep insecurities?” “What would they think if they knew about my past, if they knew about my fears, my doubts, my worries?” And so we put on Christian masks, and do our best to keep people at an arms length, to make sure no one really knows who we are. But we were made in such a way that we need each other, we need love, accountability, friendship, and honesty. Don’t allow the enemy to isolate you, don’t spend your life alone on your couch, or alone in an office, or alone in a church full of people struggling just like you. Get connected, be transparent, work at cultivating authentic relationships, because ultimately we die on our own, but we will always thrive together.
Ecclesiastes 4:7-12
7 I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. 8 This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?” It is all so meaningless and depressing.
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.