Together

Around this time last year I officially came down with the worst illness of my adult life. The weird thing is it was right after I received my first ever flu shot. At the time I thought I was invincible, but apparently the flu shot protects against 85% of flu viruses and of course because I’m an overachiever I managed to beat the odds. The doctor told me that it was a pretty wicked version of the flu and that I would be laid up for about five days. He also said that I should be isolated from Kristin and Jonah for the duration of my illness. So they left and went to stay in Minerva with Kristin’s parents, while I laid on the couch shaking and sweating completely alone for five days. I have never in my entire life been alone for that long, but I have to say it's very similar to what I’ve imagined hell to be like. For the first few days I did nothing but watch TV, because that was all I was capable of doing. FX had a bunch of superhero movies on and so that’s what I watched for probably ten hours straight; Spider man 2, Batman Begins, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, etc. That night I slept shivering beneath a mound of blankets and enduring one delirious dream after another. I dreamt of myself in a cape fighting a never ending host of bad guys, all in an attempt to avenge some family member’s death. I remember feeling exhausted in my sleep, I didn’t want to fight anymore, I just wanted sleep, but the movie in my head wouldn’t stop and I fought villains all night long. Once my fever broke I had my sanity back, at least for a little while. You see, now that I was in my right mind, the loneliness settled in and slowly drove me nuts. It wasn’t too long before I started talking to myself, asking questions out loud and then answering them, and then commenting to myself about my answers. I would yell at the TV a lot, making wise cracks at stupid commercials, or bad storylines. It only took about a day for me to start really getting on my nerves; I was so annoyed with myself and my constant sarcasm. I don’t know how Kristin puts up with me! I spent a good part of Sunday talking in a British accent for my own amusement. And by the time Tuesday rolled around and I finally saw Kristin and Jonah again, I was barely human. My beard had grown long, and my cheeks were sunken in, as if I had been on a desert island for a few years instead of on my couch for five days.

I was remembering this the other day, and I got to thinking about just how horrible it is to be completely alone. I know this from experience, but even more so I know this is true because God says so. In the very beginning, when he first created man, he looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for man to be alone,” and so he made Eve, and brought the two together, to help one another, to share their lives together. It is not good for us to be alone! We are hard wired in such away that by ourselves we begin to breakdown, digress, and go insane. We were made for community, for genuine relationships, made to share our lives with others, to help one another along. But so many of us live disconnected lives, we live isolated from genuine healthy relationships, closed off by a variety issues like; closet sin, insecurities, workaholism and depression. It is not good for us to be alone, and yet our culture teaches us that you have to be self sufficient, you have to believe in yourself, trust in yourself, and answer to no one. It is not good for us to be alone and yet even in the church, where of all places there should be genuine community, there is still a great sense of loneliness within many. We are supposed to be family; brothers and sisters, but tragically for a lot of us the church is not a safe place where we feel like we can be transparent. After all, “What if people knew that I still struggle with sin?” "What would people think of me if they knew about my hateful thoughts, my bizarre dreams, and my deep insecurities?” “What would they think if they knew about my past, if they knew about my fears, my doubts, my worries?” And so we put on Christian masks, and do our best to keep people at an arms length, to make sure no one really knows who we are. But we were made in such a way that we need each other, we need love, accountability, friendship, and honesty. Don’t allow the enemy to isolate you, don’t spend your life alone on your couch, or alone in an office, or alone in a church full of people struggling just like you. Get connected, be transparent, work at cultivating authentic relationships, because ultimately we die on our own, but we will always thrive together.
Ecclesiastes 4:7-12
7 I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. 8 This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?” It is all so meaningless and depressing.
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Sniffing Ice Cream

This past summer Kristin and Jonah and I went to sunset beach on vacation with Kristin’s family, and whenever we go to sunset beach we usually spend all day at the beach and then at night we go out for some mini golf followed up with some ice cream from the Calabash Creamery. It’s this little ice-cream shop in the famous town of Calabash that has by far the most amazing ice cream I’ve ever tasted in my entire life. Personally I’m a big fan of their Mango Tango, and their Sunset Peach. Well on this particular night Kristin and I and all of her cousins were there getting our sugar fix. We were sitting outside on the rocking chairs, I had my sunset peach in a waffle cone and was enjoying every lick, when this little seven year old boy with a back pack came running over by us with several other kids his age. He was one of the cutest little kids I’ve ever seen and was just a little ball of energy running around jumping and playing as he waited for his mom to bring out his ice cream. Well a moment later the creamery door opened up and several bowls of ice cream were brought out. All at the once a mob of little kids stormed in and grabbed their ice cream and then scattered. The seven year old with the backpack just waited patiently, The door opened and his mom came out with his ice cream, two heaping bowls of ice cream all for him. “Here you go,” she said, and he ran over and put his face down to the ice cream, his nose hovering less than inch away, and he took several deep breaths, savoring the aroma of the ice cream, and then took off running to join the rest of the kids. But before he got far his mom yelled for him; “You need to go back in there and thank that nice lady who gave you this ice cream for free,” “Yes mom,” he said, and then ran back inside. We were all watching curiously because well we’d never seen a boy with two bowls of free ice cream, just smell it and then run away and play. The grandfather noticed us watching and said, “It’s heart breaking isn’t it.” I said, “What’s heart breaking?” He said, “The poor kid has been in the hospital for most of his life. He has a digestive problem and can’t eat anything, he’s fed through tubes, which are hidden in his back pack and they go directly to his stomach. But for the rest of his life he can never actually eat food. But he sure does love to smell it.” Just then the boy came bursting out of the door, and said, “Mom can I have some more ice cream?” “Which kind?” she asked. “Cow Abash Crunch!” She held out the bowl, and he stood there for thirty seconds smelling it with his eyes closed, just savoring it. And then he ran off. My heart shattered, and I sat there feeling guilty for licking my Sunset Peach in front of him. I turned to his grandfather and said, “So he really can’t eat anything?” He said, “No but as you saw he is as happy as can be, he takes everything in stride and honestly he is so thankful he can at least smell his food. Every night the family eats dinner together, and he sits at the table next to his brother and sister, and they make him a plate just like everyone else and he sits there while they're eating and smells his food. It’s heartbreaking to watch, he will smell his chicken for a minute or so, and then his mashed potatoes and gravy, and then his corn, even his coca-cola, but he loves it, he never complains, he always says he is thankful he can enjoy the smell of food.” He came over again and took another whiff of cow abash crunch, and his mom stopped him and introduced him to us. He smiled at us and then said “Do want to see my tubes?” My head nodded yes but everything inside of me screamed “No I don’t want to see your tubes!” But he pulled up his shirt for us to see where his tubes were inserted into his stomach. I said, “Cool man!” Because I didn’t know what else to say, and he said, "Nice to meet ya," then turned and sniffed his ice cream and ran off. It was a quiet drive back to the beach house, and the entire time I was wondering one thing. How this kid who has spent most of his life in the hospital, and is fed through tubes, and sits every night at the dinner table watching people eat while he sits and smells his food, how that kid seemed to be far more grateful than I am? That night I snacked on some trail mix, and when no one was watching I buried my nose in it and smelled it for about thirty seconds, and then I made sure I savored every bite of it.

You see the gift of taste is just one more thing I’ve realized that I take for granted, along with the gift of smell, touch, sight, sound, breath and life. It’s a tragedy really; it’s a tragedy how most of us never fully appreciate what we have unless it’s gone. For most of us we don’t think about it, we don’t dwell on how blessed we are every day that we wake up and can roll out of bed and breath in another day of life on this tiny planet spinning in this enormous universe. No we dwell on problems. We are worried and stressed out, busy and tired, anxious and insecure, and so we focus on what’s wrong, on all the things that we don’t have instead of enjoying what we do. Instead of breathing in like that boy smelling his ice cream instead of savoring life, instead of being thankful, so often we just whine and complain.

GK Chesterson once said that the worst moment for an atheist is when he feels grateful and has no one to thank. I wonder if then the worst moment for a Christian would be when he has someone to thank, but doesn’t feel grateful. I wonder if the worst moments for you and me is when we take God for granted, when we get so focused on our problems, our worries, and stress, homework, and family strife, that we miss the Glory of God all around us. So often we miss out on the ordinary miracles of everyday life. Don’t miss out today, breathe it in, and be grateful!

"Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High."

Un-Stuck

The other day my son Jonah was playing this new game on the stairs. I was in the kitchen and he went running into the other room and then I heard him yelling, “help help help, Daddy I’m stuck, I’m stuck, help me I’m stuck.” So I went running into the living room anxious to discover what sort object my son had wedged himself into. He was sitting on the steps with his legs lodged in between the bars on our railing. And he was yelling, “help me I’m stuck.” So I ran over to him, you know, to un-stick him from his unfortunate situation, only to notice that he was not really stuck at all. He had at least a two inch clearance on either side of his tiny legs, but he was holding on tightly to the rails, yelling “I’m stuck.” Realizing this is was a game I said, “alright I’ll get you out,” and I grabbed him and pulled him out, but as soon as I did he said, “no, no, no and started to cry and put his legs back in the rails. At which point he looked up at me and yelled, “help Daddy I’m stuck, I’m stuck!” I scratched my head for a second a bit perplexed, and then tried to pull him out again, but once again he became irate, fussed at me for trying to help him, and put his legs back in between the rails. He regained his composure, looked up at me and once again yelled for help. I didn’t know what to do, because clearly he was not really stuck, and he didn’t really want helped out, clearly he wanted to be stuck and to yell for help. And that is exactly how I think it is for a lot of us! We have these areas in our lives, these pitfalls that we put ourselves into and even though we say we want help. Even though we cry out like Jonah that we are stuck and don’t want to live this way. We say we don’t want to be insecure, or angry, or bitter, or lustful, or addicted, but when real freedom is offered to us we push it away. We fuss and complain and make up excuses, because honestly being stuck feels comfortable. You can revel in self pity when you’re stuck, but when you are set free then there is a real responsibility, to live free. And for a lot of us we just want forgiveness, not freedom. But the love of Jesus doesn’t stop at forgiveness; he said whoever the Son sets free is really free. He doesn’t want to just comfort us in our stuck state of living, he wants to free us; really free us. But is that what you really want? If you really want to be free, to be un-stuck, you have a good and loving Father who is right there wanting to help, promising to help; he will pull you out!